Stop Assuming. Start Diagnosing.

The difference between a message that lands and one that doesn't is understanding what the situation requires

PROFESSIONAL COMMUNICATION

8/11/2026

Nowadays, you’d be forgiven for becoming paranoid about what you say and how you say it.

Open YouTube, LinkedIn or Instagram and you’ll be bombarded with advice on how to command a room, speak like a CEO, or communicate like a high-value person. Alternatively, a steady stream of warnings about what not to say is enough to make you question whether you should even say hi anymore (apparently that’s a bad idea too).

Much of the advice itself can be useful once you look past the hype. It’s usually designed to be immediately actionable, and I understand why: it’s practical, easy to demonstrate, and easy to market.

Now, to be fair, I haven’t taken these courses myself. They may well go into much greater depth than their marketing suggests. My observation is based purely on what I see being promoted online and the type of communication advice that regularly appears in my feed.

What I’ve noticed, though, is that much of it focuses on the final output, i.e. the actual words and phrases, rather than everything that leads up to them.

Coming from a marketing background, I’d describe this as end-of-funnel communication. But for me, that’s only part of the picture.

Long before you choose your words, you should already have made a series of decisions. That’s the part of communication I’m interested in.

When a promotion changes the way you need to communicate

Recently, one of my clients told me she’d been promoted and found it more challenging to communicate with her new audience.

Her English wasn’t the issue, and neither was her technical knowledge. What had changed was who she was communicating with.

Instead of mainly speaking to colleagues, she was now reporting to senior management. She found herself constantly wondering how much background information to include, what details actually mattered, and when she was giving too much context.

So I asked her a simple question: “Do you have the same problem in your native language?”

She thought for a moment and smiled. We both understood what the real issue was.

It wasn’t that English was her second language, as she had initially suspected. She was struggling with something more foundational: how to structure her thinking, filter what was relevant, and adapt her communication to the person in front of her.

Her promotion had simply made the problem more visible. Her situation had changed, but the way she communicated hadn’t caught up yet.

Different situations call for different decisions

We instinctively adapt in almost every other area of life.

You wouldn’t wear a swimsuit to a wedding or turn up to the beach in a business suit (unless, maybe, the wedding is on the beach…). Different situations call for different choices, and we make those adjustments almost without thinking.

Communication deserves the same attention.

Yet many of us approach conversations as though the same explanation should work regardless of who’s sitting across the table.

Know your audience

One of the first lessons you learn in marketing is to know your audience.

You can have an excellent product and a brilliant campaign, but if you’ve misunderstood the people you’re trying to reach, you likely won’t sell.

Communication works in the same way.

We often spend far more time refining the message than thinking about the person who will receive it.

Every situation has its own clues

Every conversation comes with its own set of clues. Here are some questions that can help you spot them:

What kind of situation is this?
Who are you communicating with?
What is the nature of your relationship?
What are your respective roles and levels of authority?
What do they already know?
What matters most to them in this situation?
How do they typically prefer to communicate?
Are there cultural, organisational or professional norms worth considering?
What emotions might be influencing the situation?
How urgent is it, and is this the right time?
What constraints or stakes are shaping the situation?
Who else could influence this or be affected by this?
What is the communication setting or medium?

None of those questions tells you what to say. But together they tell you what the situation requires.

Diagnosis before message

I’ve come to think of this as diagnosis.

Just as a doctor doesn’t prescribe treatment before understanding the problem, good communicators shouldn’t jump straight to the message. They first diagnose the situation. Only then do they decide what belongs in the conversation.

Why this is the harder skill

This is why I don’t believe communication can ever be fully distilled into scripts, templates, prompts, or catchy phrases.

Those things absolutely have their place. A good structure creates clarity and saves time. A useful framework guides.

But they’re still helping you after the most important decisions should already have been made.

The deeper skill is learning to notice and understand people.

To recognise that your manager is about to walk into another meeting, which tells you to keep it brief. To realise that your client is worried about the outcome, which tells you reassurance may matter more than technical detail. To sense that someone isn't asking for more information; they're trying to establish whether you've thought the decision through.

Judgement develops by paying attention to people, situations and patterns over time.

It asks us to observe more carefully.

To listen actively.

To notice things we might otherwise miss.

And then adapt accordingly.

Perhaps that’s why this part of communication receives less attention. It’s much easier to teach ten persuasive phrases than it is to teach judgement.

But once you develop that habit, it becomes one of the most transferable professional skills you’ll ever have.

Why this matters even more in the age of AI

AI can help you write an email once you’ve decided what needs to be communicated. It can’t decide what this particular situation requires.

It doesn’t know what your manager already knows, what your client is worried about, or what pressures your colleague is dealing with.

Those are judgement calls. And that’s why learning to diagnose the situation is becoming even more valuable, not less.

Put it into practice

Before your next important conversation, don’t start by preparing your message.

Instead, try applying the first two steps of the Communication Judgement Framework.

Step 1: Clarify your objective

Ask yourself: What am I actually trying to achieve?

(Here’s the first article in this series in case you missed it: Before You Decide What to Say, Find Your North Star)

Step 2: Diagnose the situation

Before you decide what to say, look at the conditions surrounding the communication.

Ask yourself:

Who am I communicating with?
What do they already know?
What matters most to them in this situation?
What is the nature of our relationship?
What constraints or stakes are shaping the situation?
Are there any cultural, organisational or professional norms I should consider?

As a starting point, remember that different people often care about different things.

Managers are often thinking about risks, priorities and decisions.
Clients are often focused on outcomes, value and progress.
Colleagues usually want clarity about what happens next.
Direct reports are often looking for direction, expectations and ownership.

Next in this series...

So far we’ve explored the first two steps of the Communication Judgement Framework:

1. Clarify your objective

2. Diagnose the situation

Next time we’ll look at:

3. Select your message — How to decide what belongs in your message, and what doesn’t

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I write about communication, judgement, and the decisions that shape professional success, sharing practical frameworks, real-world examples, and tools to help you think more clearly so you communicate more effectively.